"Keeps Getting Better"

Ok so yaaaaaaay!!! My boyfriends back for good. Thank God! no more running back and forth to vermont. Now hes here for good. Thank the lord, because that long distance was reall starting to get to me. I mean 4 mons is long without someone you truly care for. Anyhoot! My boyfriends back, and hes back forever, my boyfriends back. MY BOYFRIENDS BACK LOL! i love that song. I believe i must download that song right this instant. Today was ok i guess. I woke up thinking ok what the hell am i going to do? I texted some people to see what they were doing. Some were working, or just hanging out. To tell you the truth I really wanted to hang out with him, but I just dont want to get in that state of mind. Always hanging out with my boyfriend. I wanted something different today, I mean I guess I couldve gone to the city to meet up with people, but I hate going places with no money and not even an idea to what Im going to do. Plus its too cold to linger lol! So I ended up doing what I thought I wouldnt do. I hung out with him, and we walked around, he got a haircut lol, went to see my uncle to get some dvds, and then came back and watched them...amongst other things lol! Today was coool! Dont get me wrong, Im so happy hes back but i still have mixed emotions. I dont want to get side tracked. Spend all my time and energy with him, because when he gets into his routine hes not always going to be with me. We need to be together, but while were still maintaning our individuality..I dont know im just venting. Well im getting ready to read, then sleep for work 2moro! :( Gnite...and peace and love to all!

"I'll begin to let you go"

Today was a bad day before I got to work. I dont know why, but all of the sudden I woke up and as I was getting dressed, I began to cry. I was sitting on my bed crying for about 15 minutes. All of these bottled up emotionc came out of nowhere. I didnt really have anyone to talk to, so I just released it through my tears. I know it sounds so corny, but Its the truth. Ive been having a rough couple of days. First I went to see a movie, that I knew before I saw it, would suck. Then I ve been listening to the messages my dad has been leaving me. Hes upset with me and putting me on this big guilt tripm because I wouldnt do what he wanted. Do you know what its like to hear your father say your a traitor. He wants nothing to do with me anymore, and I can hang up the phone and never call him again, because I no longer have a father? I dont know what I did. I was asking my mom What did I do to hime, for him to say things like that to me? I dont think she understands. She just tells me, my father has always been very manipulative when he doesnt get his way. And its also apart if his sickness. I dont know what to do anymore. What can I do? nothing. He called when I was at work again, but I didnt pick up, he left a message, but I didnt even bother listening to it. I swear this morning blowed. I thought the whole day would but thanks to friends it didnt. I hate my job, and I hate the pay, but I have to admit I love most of the people I wor with (MOE!) In life you need friends, and love. A life without it is a life lost.

"All That I'm Living For"

I dont know where to begin, I hope you all liked the poem I wrote. When I have something on my mind for a long time, I must write about it. In any shape or form, whether its a poem, song or just a regular journal entry. Im listening to Like You By Evanescence. Love this damn song! Ok so If you want to know the true me, the real me. How i really feel about certain things. this is the place to find out. On myspace I cant write how im truly feeling. Something about myspace is so fake. Im only keeping mine up in order to stay in contact with people. So everynightiburn is where to look for all those unanswered questions you may have about me.

Chasing Pavements?

So what am I supposed to do
Sit here, and always wait for you
Lie in bed with all of my fears
Cry all of the time, with sorrow and despair
I cant live this life im living now
Your not here and im making it.. somehow
But how will I survive once u leave me again
Am I supposed to just give in?
I love you and I know you love me too
But I cant live my life revolved around you
They say if you love someone you have to let them go
And if they come back then that’s how you know
If it was ever true love or just a foe
I don’t want to be without you
You’re apart of my life
You’re in my dreams, in my mind.
All day, every night.
You say these four months are killing you
Then its obvious four years wont do
I don’t know how to bare
Should I even care?
I love that were together
Sometimes I want it to last forever
But then I think of what’s going on
Why were making this work?
How were both so strong
I love you babe
And I know you love me too
But I know when you leave again
We wont be able to pull through.