"You'll Find A Way"

Throwback

'07 Im at my Gammys house now, and I came across this picture. Its so damn hilarious. I had on my black power hat with my kitten earrings I cant find anymore, and my old OLD glasses. My eyebrows are hella bushy and It seems I knew nothing about make-up. I love looking at old pictures. Its funny to see how much I changed. My style, the clothing I was wearing and my expressions lol. I look so sad. I remember where this picture was taken too. I was in the Manhattan Mall with Awilda, Lenice, Yanell and Ebonie(who took this pic). I remember what we all were exactly talking about too, damn my memory is pretty good. They were all talking about the damn Jonas Brothers lol. Me and Ebonie were in our own world probably talking about Gym Class Heroes or some other damn band. Then she took this picture and was like Imn going to send it to you, its a nice one. Then she sent it and here it is years later lol. Wow my have things changed since then. Feels good to look back at the good memeories of the past. I miss alot of things too.....I got back like a couple of houras ago from taking my English Final. That crap was so damn easy, if I get below a ninety ill be highly upset. Now I have my last two on Wednesday. Cannot wait for that shit to be over. Everyones like schools over YAAAAY!!! I still have finals so schools not completely over for me. Til then Ill hold back my cheers. Im so eager to see how the summers going to go for me. Ill be working alot more now. I think like five days. Yes!!!! The only thing is Ill be in cash register ugh. Hate that shit. Dont know whay Moe loves it so much. Customers are way too rude for my liking. Guess I have to get used to it. People are rude anyway. I wont be at The Source anymore though. I know I'm like the worlds biggest idiot according to some people but I really need the money now, and I cant afford to waste my time in a place I dont like too much, around fake people, and get no money. Times are way too hard now, and I need to do whats good for right now. Besides Ive been thinking about a change in career...??? Im going to stil be in school and now Ill have more time to concentrate. No drama, no more late run ins in the city and no boys....well Ill see about that. I have to call em and tell em I wont be back though.....or should I just not show up, Its not like theyre paying me......hmmmmm well see by tomorrow. I just want to relax and do things I want to really do this summer. I met alot of cool people this year and still remained as close as possible to my friends from High school. I cannot wait until Santigold and more concerts to go to. I dont know why but I feel like this summer something unforgettable is going to happen. I dont know why but theres this feeling I get. Can only wait to see......

3 1/2 more weeks 'til SANTIGOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Houstatlantavegas

Can anybody tell me what the hell is wrong with me? I think Im coming down with another damn cold. Im all hot & cold. Ive had chills all day the only thing that brought it down was Dunkin Donuts lovely hot chocoalte I just cant get enough of. Other than that Ive been in a shitty mood all day. Trying to study for finals but its not working. Trying to forget about a certain someone but Im shit outta look there too. I just wanna drift away. To a place where its all peachy keen. Escape this bittersweet world, with so many problems and crap. Oh fuck... my clothes are downstaires lemme go and get em. Ugh you know what rlly pisses me off/grinds my gears. Guys. Guy Friends. Why do you always want my friends to tag along with u and your friends. Its so annoying. Ugh sorry im just venting. Lemme get out hear before I start to go nuts.

Victim of a Foolish Heart

Joss

Can you believe im fucking sick!!!...Ok... Well I can this is what I get for bragging about being perfectly fine since high school. The last time I got really sick was senior year. Ive been fine until today. My head is spinning my throat hurts eyes are tearing/itching all of the time and im dizzzzzzzyyyyy. I think I have the flu but not that damn Swine flu going around. All I know is I have to get better I hate being sick it sucks ass. Major ass. Nothing really interesting happen today..I saw my own personal stalker lol. Another guy I turned down. My friend was trying to hook me up with this guy whose damn name is KC. Isnt that creepy???? I told her I wasnt feeling to well so I passed. Now im here waiting for my friend to call me and talk to be bout the music business and how I can sing...yea right. I dont know. I dont want to be a professional singer I just want to do it for fun. I like to sing and think my songs are pretty good. Maybe even become a lyricist???? Just a thought. Anyway hes taking too damn long to call me back, but thats to be expected from him. At this rate I probably wont hear from him until tomoroow morning. Bumb. Exscuse me while i pop another cough drop and listen to Joss Stone.

"Petrified Life & Twice Told Joke"

Just got back from work, what a bore. I was in a bad mood all day. Dont really know why or care to know, all I do know is today just wasnt my day. I got in at around 4am. Maybe thats why I was so grouchy today. So grouchy that some dumass customer complained to my manager at me saying how I was being rude and mumbling things under my breath. who cares. I dont give a damn anymore. Im tired. Physically, emotionally, and mentally. The only highlight of my day was when this kid wanted to give me a hug. It was so weird I was on my break sitting down, looking all down and out, and hes all like Hi im jonathan whats your name. I was so smittened. Then he kept walking away and coming back til he asked me for a hug. Its so strange, Its almost as if he knew thats exactly what I needed at the time. I really havent been talking about my relationship saga, but I have met someone. I dont want to get into to many details, because I dont want too. I just want to see how everything goes. Its going ok...so far. I dont know I justhate when guys try to analyze me. Its almost as if they think they know everything there is to know about me. Thats it. Theres nothing more than what they see. I hate that. I admit it im a shy person if Im not used to you, or if i feel i cant connect to you on any type of level. However I can relate to alot of people so why not give me the chance. Im well rounded as my mother said and I dont judge anyone. I listen and do what I feel when Im ready to. Dont change me because It will never work. Alot of things have happened in my past that has shaped the person I am today, as well as the person Im becoming. Both good and bad. I am me. That felt so good to get out. This doesnt only go for guys but girls too. Everyone who thinks my life is just fine. Now I have to do homework something Ive been trying to avoid this whole break. I cant anymore schools this monday. Yay :(. Im still not finished with stuff. I guess its just like my life, unfinished issues I have yet to deal with.

"Littlest Things"

Megan Fox. Is a Fox. Love her.Want her. Be Her. If Only.

Ok so I havent been on this blog as much as i hoped too. Ive been so bust these past few weeks its crazy. I was even thinking about quitting school. I know, I was thinking about it, didnt do it. Its just that its getting incredibly hard, and theres so much to keep up with, and study. I felt like I couldnt do it, like I was going t explode. Then I cooled off, and realized Im not the only one struggling in this world. Schools hard, but so is life so I guess I have to get used to that. What else has happened. Oh I was asked out but someone Im not remotely interested in. Sorry but If im going to go out, It has to be someone Im interested in, and attracted too. Very attrtacted too. I also got an internship with the Source magazine. I know theyre still alive lol. Its pretty cool and that all Im going to say about that. Lets see where it takes me. So far Ive been to two parties for magazines, and got a little tipsy. oops. I think I should stop drinking. Im definately a liteweight. I cannot hold my liquor for the life of me. Ive also been getting into alot of Hip-Hop. Pretty weird actually Im freaking out. Ive downloaded so much this week, and I was even ready to download The Dreams new album. I know but I was intruiged by what everyone at the source was saying. Didnt go through with it though. Nothing else has happened. Oh. I saw my ex and their entire family. Yay! just what i needed a trip down fucking memory lane. Im not as hurt as I was before. Time does heal. I guess Im healing in my own sad pathetic way. I still tend to reminisce but thats to be expected. After all I am human. I hate when people are like oh get over it, and stop thinking about it, or writing about it. Its different for you if youve never been in my situation. People only know half of the shit I told them. Theres things thats going to take me a while to get over. I dont want to tell anyone because either their tired of hearing about it, or theyre too busy. Its ok though. No one understands me, and thats how it been my entire life. Wont be so bad to continue that way. Until I meet that one person that can change my mind....maybe.

Best I Ever Had

So ive been keeping up with alt of new music. My new favorite songs are Black and Gold by Sam Sparro, and Best I Ever Had by Drake lol.....I cant believe I love these songs so much. Especially the song from Drake, im like downloading all his shit now, so when people are like have you ever heard of so and so, ill be like yep got that album!!! Jimmy from Degrassi is a rapper, ive always known since that degrassi episode...and when i used to be obsessed with him, he would have interviews and shit, and he was like my dream is to be a rapper, and one of his favorites it 50 cent eh...i know. you all sooooo have to hear this song by him its addictive. Ive been listening to it over and over. I have no life. Im supposed to be doing a paper, wonder when Ill finish that. Get me away from Limewire!!! Ill download the world on that shit. Damn best i ever had song brings back unwanted memories. Someone once said i was the best....but thats long gone. I still love this song, and damn i think im fallin for jimmys ass again, lol!



FUCK!-i cant upload the song here by video, blogger blows. just go on youtube and listen to best i ever had lmao!

ALERT!

As alot of you may know, I have a couple of blogs. Well two. Nowadays Im mostly on tumblr. Just to let you dudes know, in case your wondering why the hell Im not updating, chances are because Im on my tumblr. So heres the link for all of you guys who actually give a damn about me.

kill-the-lights.tumblr.com



P.S.- I will still be updating this blog every chance I get.