Saturday, January 16, 2010
Save Haiti/Save Me
As you all have heard there was a major earthquake in Haiti a couple of days ago that has ruined the country completely, and has left thousands of people dead. A couple of legit organizations you can donate money to are YELE. Its Wyclef Jeans organization to help the victims of Haiti. To give a $5 donation text YELE to 501501. Another legit place to donate money is Oxfamerica. One of my closest friends works with them and they are asking for any kind of donation you can give. To find out how to donate to Oxfam, go to oxfamamerica.org.
The earthquake that has hit haiti has made me rethink alot of things. Most of all whats important and to value what we have here and be thankful, although something like this can happen in the USA. The people of Haiti havent been living well for a while now and to now have a major earthquake hit them and destroy everything it hurts me. I pray for the people and have donated what I can. Please do the same. If it were us wouldnt you want help as well?
In recent days I have been all gloomy. The reason I was gloomy was because of a guy. A guy who shouldnt be gloomy over at all. Yesterday I went to see my grandmother and found out she had a mini stroke a couple of days before christmas. When she told me this I was holding back tears. Here I am being all gloomy and worrying about my pathetic life, when the people I care for most arent doing well at all. The worst part of all of this is no one told me. My father didnt even pick up the phone to say your grandmothers in the hospital. Of course its no problem to call me about music I dont really care about. I dont know why I expected him too. He doesnt care about her. The main reason she had the stroke was because of her pressure going up and being stressed out. I know shes stressd out because her son is living with her AGAIN. and not doing anything positve in his life. I pray to god hes not back on drugs but I feel like he is. When I met him at the train station he looked skinnier. All my life growing up my dad had a belly and I knew thats when he was clean, or somewhat clean. However when he looks skinnier he doesnt look healthy, and I know hes up to no good. I dont know what it is I can do. I try to visit them as much as I could but I stay away mainly because of him, he puts pressure on me and it drives me completely insane. I want to honestly break free from him. I know once I have my own place and steady income hes going to be bothering me. Oh and he always says things to me like because of you they take my tax money and I dont have to do my taxes i do it cuz i want to because I know theyre going to snatch it and give it to you. WTF! First off they take your supposed money because you never paid the $50 dollar child support every month. Dont do me any favors. Here I am thinking you file because im your child and you love me. Didnt know I was an obligation.
The earthquake that has hit haiti has made me rethink alot of things. Most of all whats important and to value what we have here and be thankful, although something like this can happen in the USA. The people of Haiti havent been living well for a while now and to now have a major earthquake hit them and destroy everything it hurts me. I pray for the people and have donated what I can. Please do the same. If it were us wouldnt you want help as well?
In recent days I have been all gloomy. The reason I was gloomy was because of a guy. A guy who shouldnt be gloomy over at all. Yesterday I went to see my grandmother and found out she had a mini stroke a couple of days before christmas. When she told me this I was holding back tears. Here I am being all gloomy and worrying about my pathetic life, when the people I care for most arent doing well at all. The worst part of all of this is no one told me. My father didnt even pick up the phone to say your grandmothers in the hospital. Of course its no problem to call me about music I dont really care about. I dont know why I expected him too. He doesnt care about her. The main reason she had the stroke was because of her pressure going up and being stressed out. I know shes stressd out because her son is living with her AGAIN. and not doing anything positve in his life. I pray to god hes not back on drugs but I feel like he is. When I met him at the train station he looked skinnier. All my life growing up my dad had a belly and I knew thats when he was clean, or somewhat clean. However when he looks skinnier he doesnt look healthy, and I know hes up to no good. I dont know what it is I can do. I try to visit them as much as I could but I stay away mainly because of him, he puts pressure on me and it drives me completely insane. I want to honestly break free from him. I know once I have my own place and steady income hes going to be bothering me. Oh and he always says things to me like because of you they take my tax money and I dont have to do my taxes i do it cuz i want to because I know theyre going to snatch it and give it to you. WTF! First off they take your supposed money because you never paid the $50 dollar child support every month. Dont do me any favors. Here I am thinking you file because im your child and you love me. Didnt know I was an obligation.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Babe Im Gonna Leave You ( I already have) ;-)
I went to the mall yesterday with my mom. I dont know if its just me but I actually enjoy shoppin with my mom, its fun and Im not being rushed because she spends the whole damn day in the stores just like me. Indecisive like moi. I bought this really cool journal. Its yellow and has the face of a tiger on it. Its so cool. I wanted to buy all of the journals I saw (coming soon pics of mi cool new journal). Im going to write all of my poetry, short stories, and memories in it, along with magazine pics and othas. cant wait!
Ive been sick with a bad cold, so pissed I couldnt really hang out for the new years but its whatever. This year i wrote down my new years resoultions and hop I can follow them.
1. Stay focused, do moi,
2. Get license. permit first of course.
3. Stop letting myself fall for people I should never fall for
4. Forgive
5. Put past in past.
6. Save money
7. Grow my hair out
8. Get back into music ;-)
9. Take pole dancing classes lol
10. Date ;-)
Ive been sick with a bad cold, so pissed I couldnt really hang out for the new years but its whatever. This year i wrote down my new years resoultions and hop I can follow them.
1. Stay focused, do moi,
2. Get license. permit first of course.
3. Stop letting myself fall for people I should never fall for
4. Forgive
5. Put past in past.
6. Save money
7. Grow my hair out
8. Get back into music ;-)
9. Take pole dancing classes lol
10. Date ;-)
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Lost Soul
I cannot wait for school to be over. This semester has been so stressful, so bad I had to drop a class. I just couldnt take it, and I still cant. Im counting down the weeks. I feel like Ive been missing for so long. I guess Ive been busy with school and work. Especially working, Ive been working for five days straight. Tireding but I really need the money for mom, phone bill I have to pay now, and a new mp3 player. Yeah my zune is dead and gone, or well on its way. Guess Its time for a change for new things to come into my life. Out with the old, In with the new right?
Ive been distant lately and I like it like that. Never been to open and out there. I miss being reserved and not having a million and one things on my mind. And to keep some people wondering I guess. Alot of my friends have been telling me to focus on things and stop stressing over nothing. I know Ill sound like such a freak for saying this but I tend to think about sex all the damn time. I mean its on my mind twenty-four seven. I try to put my head somewhere else but I cant. Its actually quite aggravating. Mostly because Its something I cant have. I feel so pathetic and weak. I mena before my experiences sex was almost never on my mind, but now I feel like an addict. If I found someone I would probably want to do it all the damn time. Ugh. Sometimes I wish I were the old me, I feel like Ive changed. People have also told me Im different now. I guess how I act and stuff. Im going to get back to me from this moment. Lifes way to short to waste. My mom just found out one of her co-workers has cancer. Its so sad things happen unexpectedly and so fast we dont even know how to grasp it. This news made me feel even more down and out, and just taught me to appreciate life. No ones promised tomoro. My prayers go out to her and her family and I pray that shell pull through.
Ive been distant lately and I like it like that. Never been to open and out there. I miss being reserved and not having a million and one things on my mind. And to keep some people wondering I guess. Alot of my friends have been telling me to focus on things and stop stressing over nothing. I know Ill sound like such a freak for saying this but I tend to think about sex all the damn time. I mean its on my mind twenty-four seven. I try to put my head somewhere else but I cant. Its actually quite aggravating. Mostly because Its something I cant have. I feel so pathetic and weak. I mena before my experiences sex was almost never on my mind, but now I feel like an addict. If I found someone I would probably want to do it all the damn time. Ugh. Sometimes I wish I were the old me, I feel like Ive changed. People have also told me Im different now. I guess how I act and stuff. Im going to get back to me from this moment. Lifes way to short to waste. My mom just found out one of her co-workers has cancer. Its so sad things happen unexpectedly and so fast we dont even know how to grasp it. This news made me feel even more down and out, and just taught me to appreciate life. No ones promised tomoro. My prayers go out to her and her family and I pray that shell pull through.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
"Its Ok To Love Me
Ok so I know its been a while. Its been more than a while, its been forever. So much has happened where do I even start. Ok so Ive been writing alot, I met these guys who write music kind of like me and want to get started in the music business. I actuall y heard some of their stuff and think they have alot of potential. I would love to collabarate lol. They wanted to know if I could sing.....lets just say they see something in me that I dont, and want another interview. Hope I ace the next one. What else??? Oh yea went to three damn parties last week, had an awesome time. Nothing really else has happened. Guess you could say Ive been "dating" Went on one really so whatever. Guys a coll friend but definately not my bf type. Maybe its me and Im picky as hell, or maybe I dont settle and want to test the waters. I mean there are so many good looking guys out here, why not mess around. Before giving my heart away forever. I think the most important thing now is to really have fun and enjoy your life. Lifes not promised to any of us and we should make the best of each day. Dont worry about stuff to much or stress, just live your life and enjoy it dammit! Ugh. Sorry im ranting but i wish people would jus see the better things in life and make the best of it. I guess it can be hard but all it takes is a little bit of effort and strength. Im listening to So Beautiful by Musiq Soulchild now. God! I love this song so much. Wish someone would sing this song to me one day. Sigh...Gues sin order for guys to appreciate you, you have to appreciate yourself first. ;(. Lemme get to bed and get ready for tomoro, I have a long day ahead of me. Im officially an adult, well Im going to become one. I have to start paying my own phone bill. Mom cant afford it anymore. I have no problem with this, we all have to grow up sometime....I'll be doing that tomorrow, when I pay half of the damn bill.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Party In The U.S.A
I feel like such a bad person right now. Im so tired of hearing about guys. Well not guys, but my friends who go on and on about there boyfriends. more specifically my friend ingrid. I mean dont get me wrong im happy for her. Its her first boyfriend, so I know how that is. You cant stop going on and on about him, but I dont think I was that into him, where our whole 2hour convo would be bout him. if I was then shoot me in the fucking head now for talking shit lol. Is this the most important thing now, guys. I mean of course they are for a million and one reasons ;), but theyre not everything. Dont we come first? Its like we put theyre feelings first before our own. Well at least I did that, and I still do. I need to stop that. geez. i sound so pathetic lol. lord save me.
-I love Miley Cyrus's new song Party in the usa. Just think it would sound way better if someone else was singing it lol
-I love Miley Cyrus's new song Party in the usa. Just think it would sound way better if someone else was singing it lol
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