Current Playlist Reflects My Mood......

1. Everywhere I go- Lissie

2. In the cut- Wiz Khalifa

3. The Resistance- Drake

4. Brooklyn- Mos Def

5. Heavy Cross- Gossip

6. Zerospace- Kidneythieves

7. Damaged- Plumb

8. Its Ok to love me- Lizz Fields

9. Lift me up- Christina Aguilera

10. Be good to me- Sia.


.....Note No. 7&1.

Happiness

Im getting ready to graduate and transfer out to the school Ive always wanted too. The only thing that I was confused about was what my major was going to be. I know what I love but what I love, doesn't make much money. I know I'm going to sound crazy for this but I want to be happy with my life and myself. I dont want to wake up with this big list of regrets. I like to write and I love music. I know theres not much money in this but I like it. I cant help it. Its the only thing I feel right doing. Its not about have tons of cash for me. Its about happiness. I'd rather have years of joy.

Happiness doesnt just come with my career of choice, but with who I chose to share this with. I want to be happy with someone who understands me, and knows what I deserve and knows my worth. The other night I wrote my own quote...." Worth more than a phone call out of the blue, worth more than the likings of you". Lately I havent felt like I'm worth a hell of alot to people, but that has to change as do I. I have meaning, and worth just like you and I've forgotten that unfortunately. When I come back to New York, from the Bahamas. After my soul searching things have to be different. I believe in the quote I put above. My beauty arises from my spirit, and If I have a shattered spirit, I'll have little to no beauty. Therefrore I wont bee able to see the beauty in other things, as well as myself.

Summa!

Although I almost died at the drake incident. Got killed at these bbqs. Met guys not worthy of my time. Hung out with a guy who took up my time. and chilled almost everyday. I still liked the summer. :(. Im going to miss these days.

The Moon & The Sky

back of Briana & side of Jazmin

So recently I have been listening to Sade's new album. I wasnt going too, but my mom bought it. I dont know Sades classic and her old music is the best to me, but I have to admit her album isnt half bad....Now I guess youre wondering whats the picture all about. I went to see my friend Sharifa sing. The show was called " Soul Diffusion" and It was her performing along with other bands. It was in brooklyn and Im reall happy I went because I enjoyed myself. This pic was on the wall next to where I was sitting down. I dont know I liked it and wanted to take a picture. Its very artsy. I used to be dep in art taking classes but then as always I got bored with it and took a long break. Im thinking about getting back into it....what do you think??

The Scientist

I dont know about you but I believed while growing up someone with a higher authority isnt better than you but more wise. Like someone who has alot of experience with things would be the best person to ask for help or some kind of advice. Like a doctor. Theyre supposed to know things. Know if your sick and what to prescribe to make you better. Know if something is wrong and theyll make you feel better (or try) by pulling out a lollipop and giving it to you. Theyre supposed to care, and know what to tell you to help you. Its crazy this world we live in. We go to doctors thinking they will make everything A Ok. However we forget. Doctors can make mistakes, they are human. They arent always right. I guess I had to learn that. Being told you have a life threatning disease then going to see another doctor and they tell you the complete opposite shocks me. How can someone make that big of a mistake? How can I go on believeing that everything is over? Who cares about anything or anyone anymore If im not living anymore. And b living I dont mean Im going to die, but If im always depressed. If i feel like Im restricted. If I feel like I dont or cant have much of a life anymore because what I have. Nothing matteres to me and unfortunately nothing does still. I still dont know who to turn to or who to believe. Am I free? Or could someone else have made another mistake? I mean no one said lifes easy, but no one said its this damn hard. I dont know who to confide in except my mother. Shes the only person I can talk to, and sadly shes the only one I want to talk to. If shes the only to stop and actually see how I am, then shes the person I tell all my secrets to. I want to open up to people about things. But I cant. Some things should stay between me and family. I feel like whats happened to me has changed me. My only concern and still is myself. Because at the end of the day. Its My Life. And no one can help me and save me except me.